It hardly seems real, sitting here amidst the virtual detritus of my life. I’ve gone from depressed and neurotic to happy and neurotic. Really, I don’t think I’ll ever not be neurotic, it’s kind of a constant in my life. These last three years have been some of the greatest of my life. I’ve watched my babies grow, made new friends, discovered wonders I never imagined, and accomplished things I never thought possible. So much has changed, and yet so much remains the same.
I am who I’ve always been, and yet I’m a different person than I was three years ago. The world is the same, too, with the same ebb and flow of tides, changing of the seasons, and migrations of beasts. New faces and drama change the scenery like a Navajo sand painting, lasting only for a moment before the winds of change sweep them away, clearing the Way for the Artist, that new designs might flow from Mighty fingers.
The cruel beauty of the world takes my breath away. Even as our landscapes change, life itself is irrepressible. It clings and thrives in spite of our best efforts to destroy it and the necessary inevitability of death. It is tenacious and hopeful.
It’s so damned beautiful, the hope you can find if you look for it. Couples pledging forever love, babies brought into the world, students pursuing a passion at great cost not knowing if it will every pay out in the end, and big fragile hearts taking in the wounded and the lost, knowing their hearts may break, but not caring because it’s worth it. Angels walk among us.
I’m not where I thought I’d be three years ago, but I am exactly where I need to be. Tomorrow holds nothing but hope packaged in promises and tears.